You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Panties = found
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
