He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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