there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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