I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
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Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
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When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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