I wish I could punch you in the face.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
