I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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