There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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