she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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