i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
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she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
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Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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