Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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