she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
