Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
