No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
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The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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