We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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