i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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