Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
