I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
