i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
