I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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