I think I won the penis lottery.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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