In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
