If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
