Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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