did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
