Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
