No, drunk sperm still make babies.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I made him laugh his dick is mine