Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy