Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She liked it
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.