she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
