spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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