So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Couch. On fire.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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