Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
