I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
