Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
