haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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