So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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