I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
