She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
