At least make sure they are 18
Why
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
