No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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