found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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