He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
