that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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