those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
In America we eat man semen.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
