OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize