guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
