i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize