Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize