Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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