Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
