I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
