just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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