i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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