Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
