I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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