Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
