Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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