Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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