I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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