I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
