I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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