So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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