Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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