I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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