Umm I'm too high to move.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
