Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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