i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
