New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize