I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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