Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
