apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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