it's not cheating when I paid for it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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