Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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