The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Drunk is not a location!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
