We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
