I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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