I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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